The rain that brings you here
Is Heaven-blessed!
The skies begin to clear
And I'm at rest
A breath away from where you are
I've come home from so far
So don't you fret, M'sieur Marius
I don't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt me now
That's all I need to know
And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
And rain...
Will make the flowers...
And thus dies the most noble and wonderful female character in the history of modern fiction. Eponine receives her first and final embrace from Marius and sinks into her eternal rest. Then I cry for about an hour and a half and then eat some ice cream.
I'm here today to make a case that Marius and Eponine should have ended up together, and that Cosette is a dumb, selfish bitch who should have been the one to die alone.
Look, I don't think Marius is all that cool. He's pretty wishy-washy and kind of a douche, and he totally leads Eponine on (exactly the sort of thing I would never do), and then he falls in love with miss zero personality over here. But Eponine is terrific and misunderstood and has by far the best songs. Here is why Eponine is better than Cosette:
Point one: Cosette is a whore.
Cosette is the illegitimate child of a dead French whore. You do the math.
Point two: It is not Eponine's fault!
You think Eponine had any control over the way that her parents treated Cosette?! It was the 1800s! No one back-talked their parents! And they needed SOMEONE to go to the well and scrub the cholera off the floors. It's not Eponine's fault that her parents let the whoredaughter do those things and give Eponine savoury treats instead!
Point Three: Eponine is what love is all about!
Eponine is the epitome of romantic love. She loves Marius with all her heart, and her love for him leads her to change her shady ways and strive to be something better. She is also completely selfless! She gives Marius Cosette's letter even though her own feelings are raging inside of her. My friend Cathlene says that Eponine is selfish because she wanted her and Marius to be killed together. Cathlene obviously does not have a poet's heart. It is called a "blaze of glory" Cathlene, and Jon Bon Jovi was right about that much, at least.
Point four: Lea Salonga is beautiful!
Take this picture of the brilliant Lea Salonga as Eponine:
And contrast it with this picture of so-and-so as Cosette the whore:
You see? Which would you choose? Gorgeous and exotic? Or blonde and bland? And also a whore.
I love you, Eponine! Les Mis forever!