I want to start by giving a major shout-out to my best friend, partner-in-crime, and all-around sexy bitch August for giving me some space on a page for girls, by girls. I'm glad you think enough of me to let me be part of the team. HOLLA!
August wanted me to do a sort of introductory column to basically tell everyone what I’m all about. I’m not trying to invade StupidGirlyShit with a bunch of lame male chauvinist ideas. I’m just a nice guy who tends to have more in common with my female friends than the typical meatheads just looking to get into your pants. Sometimes I feel more like a girl than a guy, LOL! ;p
The suggestion was to write about stupid girly shit, of course, but that maybe I should have a little space where I can talk about things from a guy’s perspective that men are usually too scared or too self-conscious to talk about. My subject for this week? Cuddling!
You all know what cuddling is I’m sure, ladies. Snuggling up close to that special someone and holding them tight, feeling their heart beat, listening to them breathe. Maybe burying your face in their hair and taking deep breaths and moaning softly. I’m not afraid to admit that I am a man who loves cuddling! I love it so much sometimes I cry because it makes me so happy. The PROBLEM is that it seems like I only ever get to cuddle with my “just friends” girl friends. Don’t get me wrong, my BFFs are the best cuddlers you can get! It’s just that sometimes you long to hold that special someone.
The girls that I tend to meet lately don’t seem to like cuddling! I KNOW, I can’t believe it either! They seem more interested in getting super SUPER physical. Slow down, Miss Thang, it’s not a race! I was hanging out at this girl’s house and was wanting to cuddle while we watched Charmed, and she tried to put her hand right down my pants! Well, I’m not in the business of giving away the deed to the property! What kind of man-whore do you take me for??
Much like Henr y Higgins, I’m a very simple man. I like chocolate, I like American Idol, and I like spooning with my special lady! Making out is fun and all, but man cannot live on bread alone!
I guess what I’m getting at is: don’t worry ladies! Not every guy is trying to take advantage of you! Some of us are just good guys and we’re just looking for a deeper connection with you. So I won’t go barging through your innocence if you don’t come stampeding for my zipper! And if anyone sees Brenna, ask her what her problem is.