Ahoy, maties! August here. I’m soooo excited for you guys to read about all these dreamy guys. ‘Cause who doesn’t like boys, right?! NOBODY, that’s who! J All the lovely SGS ladies contributed their picks (Miss Chantelle was just a hair past the deadline, but she’s promised me she’ll finish her part as soon as her mom gives back her internet privileges. I STILL LOVE YOU GIRL!!) Even our resident testosterone-haver Blake decided to stop swooning over Mandy Moore for a minute and pick some boys of his own! I hope you guys like reading it as much as we liked writing it! ‘Cause we REALLY DID!!
OH MY GOSH I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT CHRIS DAUGHTRY!! ARRRRRRRGH!!!
August
5. Masi Oka
OMG you guys he’s soooo cute!!! Heroes is like, completely filled to the brim with hotties, but Hiro is totes my favorite. He’s ADORBS, you guys!!! Freshman year I dated the Vietnamese exchange student for six days, then these jerks on the football team started making fun of us and yelling at me in the hallway that Asian guys have small dingles. But you know? I don’t care. What Shang Yi and I shared was beautiful.
4. Jake Gyllenhaal & Heath Ledger (tie)
Well obvs. Its only the greatest love story EVER put on film. Who could pick one over the other? Heath is all grrrr manly man, and Jake is all sensitive and needy? Seriously you guys, Blake and I spent every Saturday night for SIX MONTHS eating brownies and watching this movie. And we cried EVERY TIME. I hope someday somebody loves me like a cowboy.
3. 50 Cent
Okay, so maybe he’s a little rough around the edges, but come ON you guys. I mean have you SEEN his videos?! He’s like a big, strong. . . ox. But sexy. And with some bullet holes, heehee. I used to love that song, “Magic Stick,” but then someone told me what it was really about and I got too embarrassed to listen to it anymore.
2. Lance Bass
Justin Timberwho?! Seriously, JT may be bringing sexy back, but Lance’s sexy never left, LOL!! Lance was always my favorite N’SYNCer. He just seems like the kind of guy who would hug you for no reason, and would love you for who you are on the INSIDE.
1. Zac Efron
Because HSM is the greatest movie EVER!!! I mean look at him! It is physically impossible to not be attracted to those eyes. And that hair OMGGGGGGGG. I don’t like how everyone keeps saying he’s gay. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND YOU GUYS!! I swear, people can be sooooo jealous. I mean look at that picture! I don’t get a gay vibe AT ALL, and I’m usually pretty good about picking up on that stuff.
Chantelle
5. Gerard Way
4. Pete Wentz
I’ll finish this later...
Lady Elsbet
5. Dominic Monaghan
It took much contemplation in mine noggin to figure out which LOTR boy should make my list, LOL. It came down to either Merry, or Elf Extra #7 who appears in Two Towers at the 1:38:14 mark. *sigggghhh* Tell me your story, o silent beautiful elvin boi. ~*teehee*~
4. Gavin
No list would be complete without my beloved wandering minstrel. Last week I was at work, handing out cheese samples in the Hickory Farms kiosk in the mall (but really trying to imagine myself wandering a dusky meadow in ~*Faerie*~) when suddenly up walked He, my Guitar Center nightingale, asking to sample my cheddar. Then he told me I could sample his summer sausage and I tell you, Lady El was but a blushing maid.
Sir Robbicus the Boyfriendly wasn’t too happy about that story, but I told him it was all in good jest. ~8~evil grin~8~
3. Lestat
I’M WAITING FOR YOU, MY BRAT PRINCE!!~**~
2. Tim Curry
My BFF, Mystress Morganna Thistlethwaite of the Glistening Shamrock (known to the non-magikly inclined as “Mindy”), thinks its weird that I have a crush on Mr. Curry, especially when he played the Lord of Darkness. But, as a Wiccan, I have to open myself to both the light and the dark. As above, so below. So yes, I admit it, I’ve often thought of myself as the unicorn, being robbed of my virtue by a big red demon. I’m not ashamed of my lust. I just wish Mindy hadn’t told her pastor.
1.Tom Felton
Slytherin is a rather suggestive word, non? ~*~grin~*~ This one time Rob and I went to our bi-monthly Harry Potter LARP, and there were THREE Dracos there!! If I hadn’t traded in my corset for the evening I would’ve certainly fainted, LOLOLOL!! Of course, it turns out that one of them was a lesbian I see at the gym sometimes, but boy if she didn’t make Lady El question a thing for two, LOL!!
~8~*~8~*~Lady Elsbet~*~8~*~8~
Blake
I know what you're saying: "Whaaaat? A GUY writing about hot GUYS?!?!" I know it may seem strange, but thankfully I'm comfortable enough in my heterosexuality to admit which guys are good looking! August says it's a skill too valuable to pass up, and that I just had to contribute. It was hard narrowing this down to five guys, so here goes!
5. Brad Pitt/George Clooney
I know, I know. Super typical, right? Well, I can't help it! You can't have a list of hot guys without the twin towers of the hunk world! I'm so glad that someone finally had the sense to put them in a movie together. And then they gave us TWO MORE! They're some classy guys no doubt, and it's fitting that they remade a Rat Pack movie, because they're the Frank Sinatra and James Dean of OUR generation! Except not all gross and alcoholic.
4. Hugh Jackman
The heck with what you say, Kate & Leopold was aweeeeesoooooommmeeeee.
3. Andy Roddick
This may sound weird coming from a guy, but I kinda heart Andy Roddick. In fact, I have BEEN hearting him for a while. He's so lithe and nimble. When he has a match I am talking to the screen like, "Back off, Roger Federer, Andy is going to take you to town!" I don't know if I'd ever really "go gay" for a guy, but Andy can "ace my deuce" any time he wants! Haha I'm awful. I didn't really mean it you guys! LOL
2. Hugh Grant
This was suuuuch a tough call, because I think we all know how I feel about this floppy-haired scoundrel. He's the most charming man that ever graced God's green earth, and oh that smile!
I think he loses points because I don't know whether I'd feel the same about him if he didn't have that accent, but he gains points because his Britishness makes him so wonderful! Something about him just makes me want to get married! I'm still single ladies! LOL ;-)
1. John Corbett
"Smart is sexy", and there's no one sexier than this verbose dreamboat with his luxuriant mane of hair and perpetual stubble. The first time I saw him on a rerun of Northern Exposure as a kid, I very nearly swooned. And I'm not even gay!! John is in some of my very favorite movies of all time -- My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Serendipity -- and every time he appears in a film I'm not expecting to see him in, I practically squeal with delight.
The reason John is my number one is because of that one scene in Greek Wedding when they are laying in bed and he asks her to marry him. The first time I saw that scene, My heart felt like it was going to burst and I couldn't stop crying all through the rest of the movie! You break my heart, Mr. Corbett. And for that, I thank you.
Mike
5. DJ Qualls
I can't lie, I have a thing for skinny guys. And pale guys. The pastier the better! I like being able to see a guy's spine and ribcage. I would make out with a skellington if I could! LMAOFFLECAKES
4. Steve Buscemi
Don't laugh at me! What's wrong with boogaly eyes?! I want to kiss Steve Buscemi and I don't care who knows it! Not even Zeus!! oqeiufrpoqyfpohf;alksj;qidpoqyf
3. Jhonen Vasquez
Pale? Check. Thin? Check. Totally out there? Checkz0rz! Owns a pair of plastic pants with chains and straps all over them? Yeah, probably! ^_^
In case you have been living in a scary cave or something (sp00000000000ky!) Jhonen is the greatest comix bookx creat0r of allllll times and he created Johnny the Homicidal Maniac! If comix bookx characters counted he would be on my list for sh000000000000000r. *swoony swoonz0rz*
2. Don Knotts in The Incredible Mr. Limpett
Don Knotts?!?!>?!?! I must be crazy right! NO!! The glasses, the suit and bowtie, the straw hat. Don Knotts is a big fat sexxxxxxxxxxy in this film and he's just begging for a visit from the snuggle fairey! Sometimes I tell my friends I wanna makeouts with Don KNotts and they are like EWWWWW The heck with you guys I am gonna snarfle him up! *giggles into hands geisha-style*
1. Peter Murphy
Bauhaus may be a little "before-my-time" but Peter Murphy is the prettiest man in eyeshadow of all times! UNF UNF UNF I know I'm not usually about the s3xxxx0rs but I do believe i would rape his little face! O.o Every time "Bela Lugosi's Dead" comes on my WinAmp I get a lil bit frisky, and I don't mean I feel like eating kitty food! ROWR kitty! >.<